I used to think being shy was a curse. As I watched other more extraverted people flourish as I faded into the background, like elevator music. I would often get frustrated and ask myself, “why am I like this!”
I am not going to talk about why being shy is not a life sentence, I am going to show you. Here are five examples of success in spite of shyness.
Daniel Dubois
On the morning of the 22nd of September, I woke up at 4 am in the morning to watch Daniel Dubois and Anthony Joshua fight in a heavyweight title fight. Unexpectedly, Dubois, who was the underdog, came through and one the fight, a KO in the fifth round.
Daniel Dubois is a very shy individual, who many say is a man of few words. Even after the fight Ade Oladipo, the commentator, mentions, “I know you’re a man of few words.” He often lets others speak for him during interviews.
Despite being a successful heavyweight boxer he remains modest and respectful towards his opponents. As you can see in this video, even after winning a fight of that magnitude, you could see how he desperately wants to end the conversation, to divert the camera away from himself.
Moreover, he faced criticism for his lack of heart, taking a knee in a few fights. He has come back from this. Showing a willingness to continue even when the going gets tough in his recent fights, this latest being the crowning moment in his redemption story.
This quiet, camera shy individual has just shown how strong and skilled he is, defending his heavyweight title from the superstar Anthony Joshua; a two time heavyweight champion, who most believed would win the fight. Silencing many critics in the process.
Elon Musk
As you can tell Elon Musk is not a confident speaker, he lacks flow when he speaks and just seems uncomfortable on stage. His interviews are similar, with awkward silences being common. He was also very shy when he was younger, you can hear him talk about this here. And was the victim of some extreme bullying when he was a child, here is a link describing this in more detail. Whilst everybody’s definition of success is different, there is no doubt that he has achieved some amazing things. From co-founding Paypal and Space X to becoming the CEO of Tesla or even launching the first reusable rocket into space, his achievements are extraordinary!! I know the public opinion of him is very controversial, I however, am not considering this. His achievements give me hope for myself, as he achieved all of this in spite of his shyness and awkwardness.
Jimi Hendrix
Jimi Hendrix is widely regarded as the greatest guitarist of all time, totally changing music forever despite his career only being three years long. Considered a musical genius, influencing every guitarist to come after him. His performances on stage were legendary, being wild and unfettered, improvisational and free. Despite all this he was reportedly very shy, mild mannered and soft spoken off stage. I love his music and guitar playing, Jimi Hendrix being a massive of an enormous inspiration to me.
Metallica
What a bunch of nerds! I doubt they were very cool at school. James Hetfield (lead singer and rhythm guitarist) was very shy. He said in an interview that he was:
“pretty much afraid of everything, afraid of the world, afraid of speaking” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Eq9RVKT9XQ&t=498s&ab_channel=GuitarCenter
This is the most successful metal band in history having sold more 125 million albums worldwide, the black album alone spending 750 weeks on the billboard 200! In 1991 they played to a crowd of 1.6 million people in Moscow!! Again, like Jimi Hendrix, they changed the future of music, thrusting heavy metal into the mainstream. All of this was achieved by a bunch of ‘geeks’ with a very shy frontman… This makes me question whether shyness really is a a curse? Because it is starting to seem the opposite.
Chris Williamson
After seeing the way he confidently conducts himself during interviews you would be surprised to hear that he openly speaks about how he felt ‘isolated’ and ‘lonely’ when he was younger. In the video above he talks about being bullied at school and his insecurity and hyper-vigilance over others’ perceptions of himself. He has 635.42 million views on Youtube and his own podcast called the Modern Wisdom podcast, a podcast dedicated to the betterment of ourselves, interviewing figures such as David Goggins and Andrew Huberman. It seems as if his passion is sharing how others can better themselves and grow into the best version of themselves. Speculating on this, would he have been so successful in his niche had he not gone through what he did when he was younger, had he been secure and confident from an early age?
Gandhi
You mention the name Gandhi to anybody, they will know who you mean. He led the movement that ended British colonial rule in India, with an inspiring principle of non-violence. He was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize five times for his efforts towards peace and equality, being imprisoned thirteen times in total across both South Africa and India because of his stubborn disobedience. He is seen as one of the worlds most inspirational public speakers, his most famous speech being the Quit India speech.
However, as you guessed, he was a very shy individual, according to himself:
“It was impossible for me to speak impromptu. I hesitated whenever I had to face strange audiences and avoided making a speech whenever I could. Even today I do not think I could or would even be inclined to keep a meeting of friends engaged in idle talk.”
Gandhi also sates that:
“I must say that, beyond occasionally exposing me to laughter, my constitutional shyness has been no disadvantage whatever. In fact I can see that, on the contrary, it has been all to my advantage. My hesitancy in speech, which was once an annoyance, is now a pleasure. Its greatest benefit has been that it has taught me the economy of words. I have naturally formed the habit of restraining my thoughts.” https://www.mentalhealthmantra.com/article/was-gandhiji-suffering-from-social-phobia-.html
Ultimately, Gandhi turned something that many see as a hinderance into a superpower, his natural shyness leading to a greater concentration towards the words spoken, leading to a higher concentration of meaning within his sentences.
Jim Carrey
The iconic star of Liar, Liar, The Truman Show and Bruce Almighty, known for his energetic and playful performances and a supernatural ability to contort his facial features, has reportedly stated that he was a very shy when younger saying:
“I know this sounds strange, but as a kid, I was really shy. Painfully shy. The turning point was freshman year, when I was the biggest geek alive. No one, I mean no one, even talked to me.” https://www.quotesdict.com/author/jim_carrey/
Is it despite or because he was shy when he was younger, that he now makes such a charismatic performer?
Conclusion
So the richest person alive at the moment of writing, some of the greatest musicians of all time, one of the greatest actors of all time, a successful podcaster, a boxing heavyweight champion and one of the most important political figures of the 19th to 20th century are all shy and introverted people. I know that there are also many extraverted and outgoing people who have been very successful. But all I am trying to show is that shyness and awkwardness did not stop the people above, with many of them using it to an advantage; so stop seeing shyness as a curse!!!
If I am honest, I am writing this as much to you as I am to myself.
I hope you get as much out of reading it as I did writing it!
If you want to hear more about my journey with social anxiety, click here for my most recent post on my solo trip around South East Asia.
Thanks for reading!
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