The Next Two Weeks as a Shy Solo Traveller in Thailand

After an unexpectedly long stay in Bangkok, I finally decided that I would finally start exploring elsewhere. After hearing ‘Kanchanaburi’ thrown around among other travellers, and having no real plan, I decided to make my way there. So I took the train from Bangkok to Kanchanaburi.

Sitting there on the train I remember feeling great, I felt positive about the previous week, felt I had accomplished lots and grown from the experience prior. However, I was sad to go, to say goodbye to people whom I had met and to leave somewhere I enjoyed staying.

Walking into the hostel for the first time, I remember feeling tired from my journey and a little apprehensive about what was next, but I felt confident in my ability to put myself out there, even when anxious. 

I got myself checked in and immediately met somebody. This time it felt less forced: the meeting seemed to occur naturally. We went and explored the night market nearby and some of the local bars.

My stay in Kanchanaburi was great, I met some people who I am still in contact with today, I saw some beautiful sights and spent some good time with the locals who ran hostel. But the exhaustion started to kick in and there were a few days in which I began to feel a little isolated, where I did solo stuff, where I felt myself begin to withdraw. I needed to recharge my social battery because it was empty!

So I took myself to Nakhon Sawan,  booking myself a night with my own room. It was just what I needed to get back on my feet again. It was a place that saw few travellers, I must have been the only tourist there! I got many odd looks and even had a few people ask for a photo. It was scary but exciting to go somewhere where others have not.

Afterwards, I took a horrible twelve hour night train to Chiang Mai, the northern capital of Thailand. 

What a lovely and beautiful city, with beautiful temples, gorgeous surrounding mountainous landscape and with loads to do. Elephant Sanctuaries, skydiving, base jumping and almost everything else was nearby. Despite this, my experience was overshadowed by how antisocial I found the hostel.

I did manage to go outside of my comfort zone a few times, I started conversations with a few strangers and met some interesting people. But overall I did not enjoy my time there because I felt really isolated. So without experiencing all I wished, I had to cut my experience short and left for Pai. 

After a stomach churning 762 turn minivan drive I arrived in the small town of Pai, in the Mae Hong son region. Which turned out to be a western haven; I saw more westerners than Thais in this small town. The scenery was beautiful and I really enjoyed exploring the surrounding areas on the back of a scooter.

On my first day, walking along the street, I stumble upon some of the guys I had met in Kanchanaburi. We ended up forming a little group during my time here which was really nice. I was getting very tired of the transient, one day friendships formed when travelling. 

Whilst I did meet a few new people, the security found in friendships already formed discouraged me from going outside of my comfort zone. Whilst the security was nice, It did not push me to pursue. 

I had a little group, but it started to come into focus that despite my distance from home, I was still the same person who left. You take yourself wherever you go. It had only been two weeks and I was still the same anxious and awkward person I was when I left. 

I did my best to go out as much as others did, but it did not work for me and on a few occasions I was there with people but unable to speak or move; desperately wanting to leave but feeling so anxious that I felt trapped in my own body! Which was really unpleasant.

This second stage of my trip was mixed. Some amazing sights, whether it be waterfalls, temples or mountains. But it was also unwanted but necessary reality check. 

In conclusion, what have I learned from this leg of my trip?

You carry yourself wherever you go

• Everyone seems to say that when you go somewhere completely new you have the opportunity to reinvent yourself, to be whoever you want to be. 
• For me this left me with a delusion that I would somehow just be different, naturally changed.
• But, naturally, I was still the same person that left.
• I told myself that this trip is all about me facing up to the issues which I am confronted with. But I realized that there was a part of me that was looking for a magic pill to cure the anxiety which I experience. 
• So I realized that just turning up will not make a difference, it is what I do when I get there that is significant. It is how I challenge myself when I am in these different places will cause me to make progress.

Vigilance, perseverance and consistency are the only way in which you will improve

• I have a tendency to withdraw from others, being aware and vigilant of this behaviour is vital. In my first days in Bangkok I made some great progress and I think whilst this next leg of the trip was important, I made less progress because I was less conscious of this tendency and let this trait take over, missing out on opportunities in the process
• Not every stage of my trip was going to be perfect and go to plan. And this stage did not go as I wished. I knew this was always going to happen. I know now that it is important to keep persevering. Changes will not happen overnight. This sounds very cliché but it is true!
• It is no good being sociable one day and antisocial the next, the person you would like to be is not like that so do not act as such. I saw myself doing that frequently during this leg, sociable one day and retreating into myself the next. Consistency is key.

Hey, thanks for reading all this way!
Let me know how I have done, or any questions you might have.